The One(s) that got away

Heartbreak sucks. I’m stating the obvious I know, but if you’ve never gone through it, believe me its a pretty horrible experience.
I was up 12:00 am last week trolling the internet for where I could download The Walking Dead comics online (I see you shaking your heads, what can I say? I’m a geek like that) anyway, I wasn’t making much progress so I checked my BBM updates and a friend of mine’s update read “Thinking..” amongst other things. So I buzzed him and asked what was going on and the gist took shape.
He was thinking about an ex (of which he has many. If you’re reading this homie, I say it with respect). But this particular gal was special and he was sulking about how things ended between them. Now I don’t know the lady from Adam but from the pictures he sent me, I’d be thoroughly depressed too if things soured between myself and the chica.
Anyway, it turns out that he had been comparing every other girl he had been with after her, to her and unsurprisingly they always fell short.
I remember telling him to knock it off; how was he supposed to move on if he held every girl to the standards set by his ex? She was a also a family friend and her brother was a close friend of his so it made things doubly complicated.
Our convo drifted off to other topics but as you can imagine, I found myself thinking about my friend and his love that “got away” and I could relate. I had a thing once with a lady that ended sourly. It took me a stupidly long time to get over it but I did eventually; and I learnt a few things.
I guess it’s possible to have that one person that you so fall in love with that the person has your “mumu button” so to speak. It’s the concept of “one true love”; and when things don’t work out, that person becomes the “one that got away”.
The danger here is that sulking over that “one true love” who got away (notice I keep using quotation marks) more often than not gives us tunnel vision, thus even when someone better comes along we miss out because we’re stuck in “what could have been”.
I do believe in true love, I also however believe in moving on when things don’t work out and doing so completely and as quickly as possible. Your true love should be that guy or girl you settle down with, and build a life, a family, raise kids with. Not the ex who broke your heart into a million atomic pieces ages ago and is now with her/her own true love.
For the most part it’s very difficult because as with all matters of the heart, emotions are involved. And some of us can “love” like there’s no tomorrow; throwing spirit, soul, body, wisdom, and common sense into a relationship and in some funny but ultimately sad cases juju is involved.
I’m going to be all “preachy” or “christiany” and tell you that Jesus should be your ONE TRUE LOVE. He never leaves; and because He loves you and wants the best for you, He’ll bring across your path that individual who will give you his/her mumu button and you’ll give his/her yours because he/she won’t destroy you with it and vice versa.
Remember the past with fondness and move on. Its the one way to stay alive. A shark that stops swimming drowns.
Ariel Ugorji

I’ll really love to hear from you guys so plug in your comments in the comment box below and/or hit me up @arielugorji


One response to “The One(s) that got away

  1. True bro.
    It could be pretty difficult letting go, and if the person had some great standards, benchmarking every other potential mate is almost inevitable…even if it’s just in the mind.
    Sadly, sometimes, we don’t value what we hv until it’s gone.

    Nice one. Cheers.


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