Roaming eyes & “Beyonce” looks

Solange Knowles.
If u didn’t know her before, after she went all Nikita on Jay Z last week you’ll definitely know her now. Within hours of the release of that elevator footage, the internet exploded with stories as to what made Solange see red, and as with all things internet everybody had a point of view.
The one that caught my attention was a view shared by Wendy Williams (just so we’re clear, I don’t watch Wendy. I find her very irritating. And her eyes give me the willies. That said, a friend sent me the link so I opened it and read). Anyway her opinion was that Jay was flirting with a fashion designer friend he had known when he still ran Def-Jam and Solange didn’t take it sitting down, apparently it’s not the first time either, that’s why Beyonce let her sister give Jay a beat down.
Gossip right? I know bear with me. Eventually the story will come out, until then there will always be speculation and a shed load of rumours. That said what I took from the whole matter was this; how does a brother married to one of the most desirable women on the planet, a woman that has filled the fantasies of millions of young men (and women) – yours truly included until Jesus took my heart – still allow his eyes to roam around? (There was a picture of said fashion designer and while she was gorgeous she wasn’t Beyonce) .
A friend of mine who’s like a brother to me replied me “Men will always be men”.I tried to climb my moral high horse and told him if I was married to Beyonce, my eyes wouldn’t roam anywhere else. He laughed at me and mentioned the name of a mutual lady friend of ours and asked me what would happen if she walked by with skimpy clothes on. I took a second to create the picture in my head and promptly fell off my moral high horse because honestly my eyes would probably have walked out of their sockets, married to Beyonce or not.
I know a guy who described leaving bachelor hood into marriage like shutting down a Dstv premium plan and taking up only DBS (Delta Broadcasting Service. Probably the most boring Tv station in Africa. I speak from experience) I laughed until I had stitches when I heard it. But its a perspective that most males share, consciously or subconsciously. Like my friend said “Men will always be men”.
Whether you’re married or not there will always be that woman that “looks” hotter than your wife or girlfriend. It may sound primitive but boys are generally wired to respond to what they SEE first, before they try to discover what the girl has upstairs, if they’re so interested. So if a guy sees a lady that checks all his boxes visually he’s genetically wired to react.
Now don’t get me wrong I’m not here trying to defend unfaithful behaviour, far from it. I’m just trying to explain the average male mind.
That said like my friend went to say later on, it takes the grace of God to maintain tunnel vision for your woman. To have eyes for her and her only goes beyond human effort because no matter how hot she is now, she will grow old, she will have children and some women never remain the same after childbearing no matter how hard they try. Cosmetics and plastic surgery can only do so much, it’ll slow it down but it can’t stop ageing. And you will come across other women who will be more beautiful than your wife, whether in your opinion or in the opinions of others.
On the human side it’s vital to always remember what about her stole your heart in the first place, her body caught your eyes but if you really love her, you didn’t just marry her because she was beautiful (though it doesn’t hurt). If you’re in a relationship right now and you really can’t see anything worthwhile about her beyond her looks, you should end it. Save both yourselves the stress and the heartbreak, and in Jay Z’s case a video recorded beat down.
Ariel Ugorji

I’d really love to hear from you guys. Plug in your comments in the comment box below and/or hit me up @arielugorji


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