Sexes & Genders

Hey guys. Sorry for the long break. Just got into school so it’s been a bit hectic. But timetables are being reorganised and schedules rearranged so I can post more of my random weirdness for you to enjoy a bit more regularly. Do bear with me.

Once upon a time not too long ago it used to be just male and female. You know, a guy AND a girl. Penis and vagina. Simple. Straight-forward.
But right now I can’t keep up. Apparently we have two sex types and according to facebook’s new provision; 51 new genders. Let me repeat it, with punctuation marks so you get my point. Two sexes; 51. DIFFERENT. GENDERS.
I’m not going to bother listing all of them. If you want to know them, just google “facebook gender options” and find where you fit in.
Now after going through all of them I found myself wondering; God made us pretty straightforward, streamlined if you will, into two sexes which themselves connote two genders. But no! As if being a male or a female isn’t difficult enough I now have to wonder if I’m Androgynous (identifying both as male and female but not strictly either) or Genderfluid (switches from sex to sex as the mood takes) or even Neutrois (someone who doesn’t identify as being in any of the two, gender-less). WHAT. THE. HELL?!?!
I think there’s a point we get to in our “advancement of thought” where we go round the bend. You know, someone’s going to read this article and label yours sincerely as “close minded”, “uneducated”, “bigot”, “intolerant”, “backward”. Personally I’d settle for “confused” because that’s what I am right now.
How do I feel like a man today then by some change in mental and/or hormonal gears I feel like a woman tomorrow? Any “Neutrois” reader who can explain this to me I’d be happy to listen.
Or me being a guy for instance but identifying as a female. And then when I can’t take it anymore I go under the knife and make the necessary “adjustments” to correct God’s apparent mistake (and yes this article is going to be peppered with references to God because I don’t believe I emanated from some primordial ooze; so get used to it). Thus I get rid of little Ariel and his two assistants, work on my voice box, probably grow some hair and start dieting heavily on female hormones. Too bad I don’t get menses, ovulation, hot flashes, a smaller brain, a smaller heart, a womb, and ovaries in this “jump the ship” package deal. That would have been fantastic eh?

I’m very, very fascinated with our determination to work against the natural order of things. I will never understand it and in most cases will be repulsed by it but I’ll still be fascinated all the same.
The natural order of reproduction is a man and a woman ( I might need to add here that she was BORN a woman, not transgender. My my, the same applies to the man too.), one or a few sweaty nights (as the case may be), 9 months later, Voila! A screaming bundle of joy (sleepless nights included).
But now two guys in love want the same opportunity. It’s like flying economy or coach and expecting champagne and spacious reclining seats. That isn’t the order of things. But hey that’s why you can adopt right?
Pop culture news has been flooded with columns of Bruce Jenner and his “transition”. And the world will be tuning in to follow and be inspired by a man in his sixties “transitioning” from a man into a woman. Oi! The whole thing sounds to me like some form of “inverted old-age crisis” ( I tried to play on “middle age crisis” I case you didn’t get it)

I’ve heard people use the term “metrosexual”, “spornosexual”. I don’t buy into any of that. As a guy I have a sensitive side, a delicate side, a softer side if you will (it’ll be impossible to be in a relationship with a woman and not have at least a semi-permeable soft side) but at the risk of sounding macho I do not have a feminine side. In fact I think feminists should find it condescending when such a term is used because more often than not it indicates “weakness” or “softness”.
Much the same way I don’t buy into the multitudes of genders people keep creating. What next? Trans-specie? (you are a woman or man by sex but you identify as a butterfly or a bat?) OR Omni-gender? (All the genders in one person) The Bible had a description for such a person – Legion.

Here in Africa – the dark continent – (and yes I’m proud of that title, as I’m now black should I be offended?) This gender dance hasn’t caught and probably never will – at least in my life time anyway – we’re too “dark” and “backward” for such things and the suffering is too much to have the time to speculate on whether I’m a man or a woman or both or either or either/or or neither or neither/nor. Because even if I was all of the above I still have to eat don’t I?
But mainly because we still live by the natural order of things. Parents still whoop their children’s’ asses when they misbehave, children FEAR and love their parents too (yes white people, it’s possible for your parents to whip the fear of God in you and you still grow up loving them), youths still respect elders, we haven’t thrown God into the forest of science and knowledge, men generally stick to chasing women and women generally stick to enjoying being chased by men, etc.

I’m a man, I’m male. Nothing else. What are you? Hit me up on twitter with the hashtags #IamMale or #IamFemale @arielugorji

Ariel Ugorji


2 responses to “Sexes & Genders

  1. Hilarious….. I’ve not laughed this hard in a while. Thanks mate! Great write up. And by the way #IamMale!!! Cheers!!!


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