Back in school I had a love-hate relationship with multiple choice question tests or exams, depending on the subject or the teacher. Then there were those dreaded “fill in the blank” questions that must have been inspired from the depths of hell because to pass those ones you had to have really read and known the subject. I am also convinced it’s no coincidence that the meanest teachers with the most courses enjoyed using them. Anyway, like I said, love-hate relationship.
So this particular Friday I was in the barber shop getting a haircut and my barber was engaged in a very lively conversation with a friend of his. Now my barber is fresh out of the singles market and also recently became a father for the first time, so his opinions on dating and women in general had not yet been tainted with that “married smell” (please, married people, keep the knives biko, I don’t mean any harm. Marriage is a beautiful thing, I just meant he was still “almost” single in his opinions)
So how do multiple choice questions and my barber co-relate you ask? It was the topic of my barber’s conversation. You see, he was admonishing, yes, admonishing; his friend on the grave importance of having more than one girlfriend. Yes, multiple choices. He was seriously instructing his friend that he had to have had more than girlfriend in his dating phase before he settled on one, that he cannot advise him to settle down after just dating one lady?! No.
Me I just sat there doing what I do best. Listening. This isn’t the first time I was hearing the multiple choice gospel preached; I actually had a much older cousin give me the very same advice when I was in my second year in the university. He’s married now, with a kid. Anyway, while I was sitting there I came up with two questions which I thought I’d muse over in this post.
One; why the absolute necessity of having more than one girlfriend in his friend’s dating phase? What was wrong with first girlfriend-turned-wife? That’s still one question by the way.
Two; when he said more than one girlfriend, did he mean having multiple choices simultaneously or concurrently? In case you didn’t get that, what I meant is did he mean having multiple girlfriends at the same time or did he mean serial dating?
Over the last two weeks or thereabouts I’ve thought about both questions on and off and frankly I’m not entirely sure what to make of them. Especially the first one. I’d really love to get feedback from you guys in the comment section and know what you think.
I for one don’t think it’s an absolute necessity to put yourself through the work of multiple relationships (whether simultaneously or concurrently) just to “sample the garden”. Adam had only one option (we all know how that turned out…..but it wasn’t all bad), Solomon had an entire harem and we saw how his head was turned six ways from Sunday.
Then there’s the moral issue of multiple relationships at the same time. I understand these days that people have “arrangements” that fit their peculiar situations i.e. non exclusivity, open-relationships etc. but unless explicitly agreed, I’m not sure there’s anyone out there who wouldn’t balk at the idea of being someone else’s “option” in a relationship. I for instance will not countenance being somebody else’s option (especially if it’s in a simultaneous situation).
I know this came largely from a male angle but guys and ladies let me know what you think.
Would love to hear from you guys.